


In Reverberation

by cabarets



Category: Code Blue: Doctor Heli Kinkyuu Kyuumei
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-10-31 12:20:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17849366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cabarets/pseuds/cabarets
Summary: "I wrote you a letter," Aizawa said impulsively, "a year ago — you didn't write back."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The fic is set around a year after Season 3, with Aizawa leaving for Toronto. I don't own the characters mentioned in this fic. I also haven't watched the movie yet, in case anyone wondered — I'm not Japanese in the slightest. I'm really sorry about the medical jargon as well, I'm no med student.
> 
> I haven't really written a story in such a long time let alone posting it in public. I rushed this quite a bit as well, if I'm being honest. So I guess this note is sort of an apology in advance. Hope it makes sense.

“Just get on a plane,” Aizawa said to himself, “just get on a plane and come.”

_Flight Number JA 727 bound for Tokyo is now boarding._

 

* * *

"It's nice to see you again, Aizawa. " Saijo-sensei gestures for him to sit, "It's been awhile after all. Thank you for stopping by."

"It's not a problem."

A knock on the door caught their attention. Someone then peeps through the small opening, "I thought I saw Aizawa, I thought right." Saijo gestures Shinkai to enter the office. Aizawa acknowledges him with a respectful nod.

"So, How was the Conference?" Shinkai asks as he sat down at the seat next to Aizawa.

"It was interesting."

"Are you well adjusted there?" Saijo-sensei asks.

"I'd like to think so."

"You don't look very good though," Shinkai says, "Don't you think so Saijo-sensei?"

This is what he didn't miss, Shinkai's cheeky remarks. Makes you wonder how did he end up being one of Shohoku's top Neurosurgeons.

"You do look pretty tired, Aizawa." Saijo concerned, "I guess it's because of the 14-hour time difference between here and Toronto, no?"

"Just haven't adjusted very well since the conference times were quite early. But I'm fine really." Aizawa assured them.

The sound of the helicopter arriving silenced them for awhile. Aizawa looked at the windows and watched as the heli disappeared from their view.

"That's their third arrival back to the hospital since this morning. They're working hard." Saijo said with confidence.

Aizawa thought the same and nodded his head. He hears a little bit about them from Fujikawa from time to time.

"Shiraishi-sensei's been at it lately, she's been fitting in to her Staff Leader role very nicely. She lets the Fellows out on the heli alone — now that they're graduating soon, after all." Shinkai responds. 

"Ah yes, Shiraishi's doing well, she comes and visits my office from time to time - I tell her how well you're doing there in Toronto. I hope that doesn't bother you." Saijo apologetic.

"It probably doesn't bother Aizawa one bit, Saijo-sensei. In fact, he would probably encourage it." Shinkai playfully remarks. Aizawa, quite stoic throughout the conversation, sharply glared at him in response.

"I see." Saijo oblivious to the remark. Shinkai really does know how to push his buttons. 

Shinkai's phone starts to ring, "Oh, it's probably Lifesaving," he looks at the phone's screen for confirmation, "While you were gone, I've been helping them, Shiraishi-sensei requests for consultations all the time."

 _Really_ knows how to push his buttons.

As he was about to answer, he hesitates, "You haven't seen your friends over at Lifesaving, have you?" he says with a grin on his face.

* * *

Aizawa entered the emergency room, Shinkai accompanying him. A symphony of screaming, faint sound of sirens, and heart monitors welcomed him. He stood there for a moment, not sure if he was allowed to enter at all— he was wearing outside clothes after all. Everyone seemed to be carrying on their movements precise and quite sharp, unfazed at the people entering and exiting the vicinity. Shinkai then guides him through and eventually stops at a patient taken care by Yokomine. Shinkai then signaled him to go ahead, the cunning bastard was really going to let him do his job.

"Aizawa-sensei!" Yokomine says aloud, quite startled.

"I'm coming in." Aizawa takes off his coat, grabs a pair of gloves, and darts straight into work. Not exactly caring that at the moment, all eyes were on him.

"Yokomine, what's the situation?"

"Uh-" Yokomine, quite surprised by the presence of Aizawa, could not seem to syllabicate what she needed to say.

"A man in his 30's fell from his apartment balcony. Multiple fractures, He's bleeding from the head."

The voice familiar, no, he knows who exactly it is. From across the room was Shiraishi, operating on another patient. 

"Luckily, he seems stable now, but his pupils are uneven, that's why we called for Neurosurgery," she says without removing her attention to her own patient, "Yokomine, all senior doctors are occupied at the moment. If you want my assistance, it will take me about 20 minutes, but it might be too late for that. "

"Lend me your pen light," Aizawa requested the young doctor. Yokomine hands it to him, though still recovering her composure.

Shiraishi looks up for the first time, "Actually, No - You have enough skill to do this on your own. Aizawa-sensei is here with you, so you'll do fine. Yokomine, take a deep breath and decide on what you want to do." she then nods her head to Aizawa in recognition and continues on with what was occupying her. 

Yokomine replies and takes a deep breath like Shiraishi said, "I'll do it," she replies.

The patient starts to shake, "He's going into shock," Saejima acknowledges.

Yokomine, with Shiraishi's words, seemed to calm and became much more focused than usual — being at the helm of the situation. The sense of composition within Yokomine prompted him to assist and simplify the situation with ease. This is what he missed, the heat of the moment. Sure, Toronto gave him all sorts of different cases — but Lifesaving gave a different kind of bite. It's really different from ordinary operations, after all. The team working on the patient was like a well-oiled machine, it almost felt like he never left.

"The patient is stable." Saejima sighs in relief.

"Thank heavens." Yokomine exclaims.

"Good job," Aizawa says to Yokomine. She seems to be performing better than the last time he saw her, he thought. She smiles brightly at him.

"Oy, it's Aizawa," Fujikawa says as he enters the Emergency room, "Did you grow tired of Toronto already?"

He took a quick glance at Shiraishi, still silent, focused on stitching up her patient. 

"Since when have you come back?" Fujikawa asks.

"2 days ago." Aizawa cooly answers.

"How long are you staying?"

"Only until tomorrow evening"

"Seems quite a quick trip."

"I had to attend a Neurology Congress,"" Aizawa responds, putting his coat back on, "It was a last minute decision."

"What are you doing in Shohoku then? Probably visiting a gir—" Saejima hits her husband at the back of his head. Shinkai trying his best not to laugh. Aizawa subtly looks at Shiraishi again, her face enigmatic.

"We'll be going to the ICU," Yokomine forges through the Emergency room, carrying the IV fluid with her as she pushes. 

"Noted." Shiraishi replies, cleaning up after herself, "We'll be heading to the ICU as well. Good job everyone."

The sound of the Emergency telephone blasts through the entire room, everyone's eyes on it. Shiraishi nods her head to those assisting her as a sign of turning over her duties and answers the line.

"Shohoku Lifesaving Center." she says, her overall composure changing as she says those words. Aizawa getting chills down his spine at the sight. She takes down the details and once she receives the go signal from CS, she carries out her role with efficiency and dispatch.

_Doctor Heli, engine start._

As she walks past him, their eyes meet. The commandeering look in Shiraishi's face made him realise that this, this is what he actually missed. The sight of her on flight duty was something he was familiar with, yet why was his heart beating feverishly at the sight?

He views the Emergency room with a bit more exactness now that the Emergency room was less crowded and erratic. It didn't look much different from what he remembered it looking like before he left. He then sees the navigation whiteboard next to the communication equipment, where the line of duty for today are displayed.

"She never removed that from the board, not once. From what I know, she rewrites those words everyday." Shinkai whispered from behind him, "Good work today, Aizawa." leaving him to his own devices.

He wasn't quite sure what Shinkai meant by that. But he then looks at the corner of the navigation table and sees his picture affixed with the note _T_ _oronto Medical University - Clinical Fellow_ underneath. 

"You're such an exaggerated honours student." he says under his breath. Becoming fully aware how much he missed while he was gone.

* * *

A light breeze hits Aizawa as he exits the hospital. There she was, as he knew she'd always be, sitting by the passageway of the helipad. She stretches her arms out, as if reaching for the sky. She did have quite a morning, being on flight duty after all. He continued to watch her as she slowly stretched herself out. She always had an air of calmness surrounding her, even in times of distress. He approached her slowly, carefully — hesitant almost. There was something about tilting her head to the side as she carefully squeezed her neck Aizawa found himself thinking about longer than he should. Bringing on wave of self-loathing and undeniable desire crashing into him, swallowing at the thought. 

"Oh," Shiraishi caught by surprise at the sight of him, "Thanks for helping out earlier."

"Good work today," Aizawa said in salutation.

"You could've told me you were coming back."

"I'm sorry."

"I heard you went to a Congress," she tells him, "how was it?"

"Interesting," Aizawa leaning into the railings next to where she sat, "they talked about the latest technologies for the prevention of Neurodegenerative disorders."

"Seems it would be something you'd enjoy."

"I wrote you a letter," Aizawa said impulsively, "a year ago — you didn't write back."

She simply looked at him and smiled. Aizawa always thought that there was something so gratifying seeing her smile, yet it didn't feel as warm as it always did. Her lips tightly closed as if it held some sort of secret — like she had something holding her back.

"So how's it going?" Aizawa wanted to ask her how she was doing but he knew she'd just dodge it, " How's Lifesaving been doing?" he reiterates.

"We're doing alright, the Fellows are graduating soon. They've been surprisingly useful since you've been gone. You really don't have to worry about us."

"How about you? Are you doing alright?" he asks anyway.

"Huh? I'm fine, Aizawa. You don't have to worry about me." Shiraishi then shifted the conversation, "I heard you're doing well in Toronto, Saijo-sensei talks about your experiences with me all the time."

There it was, the enigmatic smile again. 

"Stop running away," he wasn't pulling any stops anymore. Aizawa took a deep breath, "Why'd you think I'd dropped by Shohoku, Shiraishi?"

"I don't know, to see Saijo-sensei?" 

"Have you forgotten, Shiraishi?"

"About what?"

"7 years ago. We —"

"I haven't forgotten," she said, maybe a little too quickly.

They sat in silence for a moment, listening to the breeze, to cars in distance. 

"Why now? Why are you bringing it up now?" her voice miniscule.

"I don't know," he mumbled, "I just thought it was a good idea." 

His hand moving closer, trying to hold on to hers.

"When I came back from Aomori, I was lost. It was just so hard — you just didn't want me to be alone. I've blanked out most of it and tightly stored it somewhere I couldn't find it. But you, you actually came back and found it. Why can't you just let it stay forgotten, Aizawa?"

He did not know the answer to that, to anything right now. All he knew is that he wanted to hold her hand, but he ultimately choose not to, balling itself into a fist. 

"Aizawa, please. we've known each other for a decade!" she said with a hint of annoyance, "It's too late, we're too late."

"How'd you know that? We never really tried— If I knew—"

"You'll never know!" she stood up, "Because you never asked!" 

She stormed away from him, but Aizawa persisted. Too late. He tries to catch up to her, calling out her name. What did she mean by that? Maybe she is right. Maybe he just felt a little lonely. No, It took a lot in him to ask and all she answers, all she answers is — God, she is so frustrating — that they're too late? Maybe he was just feeling a bit reckless, perhaps? Was coming back here all worth it? He then ran after her, giving him an overwhelming sense of familiarity. 

* * *

"Shiraishi,"

Shiraishi ignores him as they walk through the empty office. Aizawa did not really know what to do whenever she was in distress. Even if he has seen her in vulnerable situations before, this, this felt different. The next thing he knew, he was holding her in his arms. Aizawa slowly turning her to face him, to look at him. Shiraishi trying to shake him off, trying to avoid looking at him.

"Look at me." he said.

Shiraishi calmed herself at the tone of his voice and slowly looked into his eyes. Aizawa loosens his grip on her.

"The Congress prompted me to come but mainly it's because I missed you. I don't know why, but I just do." Aizawa sighs. "I, I wrote to you one time about a year ago. It said— "

"Aizawa,"

"It said," Aizawa back-pedalled, "Come to Toronto. I just needed you to come. You, You didn't write back."

He held on to her hands and looked into her eyes. There were a lot of things going on in Aizawa's mind, if his eyes could speak — it would've went on in tangents by now. Looking at her eyes, Aizawa saw what she wanted to say, what needed to be said. He knew that she thought of it too, the idea of them being together. The air in the room felt like they wanted to be together, that they should. But they're just not. They made up their minds long ago. He realised that the idea of it was enough, it should be enough. 

"I waited for a long time for your response but I just realised," Aizawa continued on, "Of course, Of course, she loves Lifesaving more. That doing that will always be more important than any man."

Shiraishi looked dumbfounded, speechless. He slowly let her go out of his hold. They were too far apart now, in different places, literally and figuratively. Frustrating as it is, he knew. He knew that if you cut through her core, you'd find Lifesaving running through her veins. 

_Doctor Heli, engine start._

She looks back at Aizawa as she receives the signal for Emergency.

Aizawa realised that the difficult part wasn't letting her know, but what happens after you do. He wanted to let her fly more than anyone else, even if it might end up being with anyone else. She let him pursue his dreams, pushed him away even, to reach them. Though it was his new dream to love — to love her, it was selfish to want her. Selfish of him for entertaining the idea. It was clear that she continue in pursuing hers.

"Go." Aizawa tells her.

She goes without hesitation. He looks as she slowly disappears from his view, smiling with a slight tinge of pain to himself at the sight.

 


	2. Chapter 2

_Aizawa, Where are you?_

It was around half past 10 in the evening when Aizawa received a call from Shiraishi asking where he was, wanting to see him. Her voice empathic, he gives her his address. She knocks on his door 20 minutes later, with a faint scent of sake and antiseptic. He lets her in.

"What time are you leaving tomorrow?" she asks.

"Around 9pm. Would you like something to drink?"

"Sure."

She drinks the tea he had laid out for her in one go. He asks if she would like another, she says no. She looks out at the balcony as the breeze came into the room. She was spaced out for awhile, you could tell she had a lot going on in her mind, like she wanted to go outside, but she stayed still on where she was.

“I’m tired, Aizawa.” she said, shifting in her seat to look into his eyes. She may have had a glass or two over at Mary Jane’s, but it doesn't seem she’s intoxicated — she didn’t have that flush. She let a few incomprehensible words slip her lips. It was like she tried to rehearse what she wanted to say to him countless times, yet when it was time to do so — nothing. Aizawa merely just waited for her to say what she needed to say.

“It’s not like I particularly wanted to come here,” Shiraishi finally musters up, "It's just that, I felt like talking."

“Shiraishi,” Aizawa squeezed one of her shoulders.

"I haven't forgotten what happened 7 years ago." Shiraishi pulls out her phone from her coat, showing him a draft of a letter, "I haven't forgotten about your letter either," she hands him the phone and lets him read it. 

> _Aizawa,_
> 
> _It's so nice to hear from you. It's getting pretty chilly here too, but I guess it's no surprise that it's colder there. I hope that you're keeping warm. Lifesaving is the same as always, the Fellows improving as they go on. We're considering to let them fly on their own soon. I see that you're having no trouble adjusting in Toronto, handling cases on your own without difficulty - it's seems like you._
> 
> _I've been thinking about it all this time — about us. What if you didn't check on me when I came back from Aomori? Aizawa, if it matters, I don't regret what we did 7 years ago. I wanted to respond to your letter saying that I'll get on a plane, I'll come right now, I really do. But I can't. I can't be with you Aizawa. Not that I don't love you - It's just that I don't think my heart would be in it, because my place is here._  

He hands it back to her,  "I can be selfish at times too, you know?" Shiraishi places back the phone in her pocket. She lets out a little chuckle as if trying to soften the blow, but immediately lets out a deep sigh, "I'm a coward, Aizawa. I didn't even tell anyone about you, about us. Whatever us is— was."

"I didn't tell anyone either, but you didn't have to if it made you like this."

"I kept it all inside. I just didn't want to hold you back. When you went away, I thought — I thought I could let you go. That I could rid myself of you."

"You shouldn't suffer because of m—"

"You shouldn't give up your dreams for me, Aizawa!" she retorts before he could even finish.

"Who said I was?"

The silence felt so loud. Feeding the growing realisation that their feelings towards each other slowly changed in the years they've known each other —yet still displaying such blatant deceit when it came to actualising them.

“I’m sorry,” she said as she turned her back against him, “I should not have come here.”

As she was walking away, Aizawa didn’t know why, but in every step he wished for her to hesitate, to look back at him, to forget about being apart — but she didn’t. I mean, it was Shiraishi after all. Aizawa, a rational man, however, did what any rational man would do - he stops her in the middle and brings her to an embrace.

“Aizawa, what exa—,”

Before she could even finish her sentence, Aizawa impulsively pressed his lips into hers, her lips soft and a bit cold, but Shiraishi wasn’t moving. He must be going mad, he thought to himself. It barely lasted a moment, but Aizawa slowly got back to his senses as he felt that maybe she didn’t feel the same - that she didn't want to be kissed. As he slowly breaks it, practicing every single kind of apology he should be giving to her — Shiraishi pulls him back in.

It was insistent, intense — her teeth clashing on to his. She slowly wrapped her arms around his neck, their bodies getting closer and closer, pushing themselves into a corner, their mouths slipping from time to time. He could feel her anger, her sadness, her frustration— he took it all in. He took all of her in. He let her tongue slip inside his mouth, demanding. His arms slowly circling around her waist. She pulling him harder against him, tugging at his shirt.

As their lips separated, catching their breath — their breathing’s in perfect sync. Aizawa’s hand slowly finding its way to Shiraishi’s face, tucking her hair slowly behind her ear. He looked at her softly, wondering how he ended up here. Did he want this? Did she want this? There was a pensive look in her eyes — a sense of longing.

“Aizawa,” she says, her voice breathless. “Please.”

Aizawa kissed her so delicately — but at the same time, it was like he wanted to consume her — and Shiraishi let him. They barrelled their way into his bedroom, undressing in their slight pauses. He could feel their skin in heat — her hands all over his back. Shiraishi kissed him more. Her kisses, he thought, felt like burning — and it was making him lose his mind. But he then sat up and hesitated, waiting for her to tell him to move forward. He wanted this, but only if she wanted it too. Shiraishi reached out to his chest, caressing it ever so slightly.

“Are you sure? We can stop if you want to.” Aizawa asks.

She hesitated for a moment, then replied. “Yes.”

“Megumi,” he responded, pulling her to a passionate kiss.

A feeling Aizawa thought he would only feel whilst working on patients — heat. The warmth of a person’s heartbeat, it consumed him. This was different, he thought, much different. As he leaned in close, she reached out slowly to him, guiding him on where to go — her fingers urgent yet delicate. Shiraishi trembles as he entered, slightly wincing as he pressed up against her. He pulls away, but she wraps her leg around his waist, pushing him deeper. Shiraishi’s body arches into his, Aizawa thrusts harder, picking up the pace.

“Kosaku,”

Her voice almost could not be heard – it felt like that her breathing sounded like that all the time. The moment their eyes met, he could feel her pulsating around him —a quenchless release. Her eyes gave out a warm glow, intoxicating. Her body flushes. He in a fever of vicarious arousal. It drove Aizawa over the edge.

That warmth, the heat that crosses around their bodies— that, he wanted to feel forever.

* * *

A few moments have past and they have stayed, lying on the same spot, their legs entangled. Her head on his shoulder, arms across his chest — his hand caressing her fingers ever so slightly. Emotion was never really Aizawa's strong suit, physical contact with anyone a rarity let alone showing it off — but whenever it was her, it just comes out of nowhere and gets to him.  At some point,  she gets off the bed, or at least tries to. 

"I should go." she says, averting her face.

"No, stay." his hand, already holding her own, faintly tightens.

"I can't. I have to be in the hospital the whole day tomorrow."

"Megumi. Only for tonight. Please." 

Shiraishi hesitates but eventually says, squeezing his hand. "Will you hold me? Just like you did." 

Aizawa pulls her in closer, bringing her into an embrace. Then there was silence, not the awkward kind, the more comfortable kind, but silence nonetheless. A gentle feeling of fondness but at the same time an immense dread engulfed the room, like it was the beginning of the end. 

"There were so many things I wanted to talk about with you, but you weren't there." says Shiraishi,

"Sometimes I thought of asking if you wanted to tell me about things— about work, about anything really — and I'd just listen to you. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. We all go through something, you know? I just have to be stronger, Aizawa."

"No. No you don't."

"Still, I should've sent that. I should've reached out more."

"I don't blame you."

"I thought about you every day, Aizawa. In the early mornings at Shohoku, whilst I assigned the duties on the Navigation board, whenever we had an interesting case at hand I'd tell myself that you might have wanted to see that yourself, even whenever I'm on the heli itself — hell, sometimes in operations even asking myself if you'd think this was the right call — that sort of thing."

"Shiraishi,"

"Aizawa?"

"It won't be like that anymore, I promise. I won't disappear if you won't." he says.

"We'll be alright, won't we?" 

"I'm only a phone call away."

"Friends?" The moment the words left her, it applied an complex state of perplexity between them. He wanted to reject the idea of staying friends. He would've declare his affections for her to her and everyone who he could think of. But he doesn't. He was also a coward, he scolded himself.

"Friends." he said eventually, caressing her hair.

He then had thought of that night, several years ago, lying in his single bed, her head resting on his chest, his arms around her, him kissing the top of her head, their hands intertwined. With these images in his mind, which have always been remembered quite vividly, he eventually falls asleep.

They woke up at the crack of dawn to the sound of Shiraishi's alarm going off. As Shiraishi tried to move about, Aizawa's arm was holding her close. She turns her back ever so slowly to turn it off. Aizawa, though conscious, pretends to be asleep. Just a little longer, he thought — he begged. He feels Shiraishi prop herself up from where she laid— slowly, as she didn't want to wake him. For a moment, he thought she'd get off immediately - but she stays still. Then, he senses her move — he contemplated opening his eyes to see — he doesn't. When he thought this was the end of it, he felt Shiraishi's hands gently move his hair away from his face. He then felt her lean forward. With no more than the lightest brush of her lips against his, this was Shiraishi's way of saying goodbye.

He didn't move a muscle as Shiraishi gathered her belongings in a hurry, dressing up in between. As soon as he heard the door click, he exhaled as though he just got out of water - taking in the room. It really happened. It didn't matter to him that it came to this, with her leaving — it just mattered that he did what he had to do, hear what he needed to hear, to show her what she needed to see— that Aizawa loved her wholeheartedly and it was enough for him that she knew. He knew in him what would happen. They both knew. The room feeling very quiet now.

Aizawa tried to go back to sleep, Japan having a 14-hour time difference with Toronto, after all. He laid there with his eyes closed, relaxed. But he couldn't, tossing and turning every few minutes. Nothing about the bed was particularly offensive in the slightest — the bed being quite comfortable, the sheets quite soft and smelt like it was newly washed and Shiraishi. It still smelt of her. He was exhausted, but nothing. Aizawa shifted himself to the other side of the bed, which he then thought was warmer. All he wanted was to drift into sleep, but every time he was close to doing so he was just too distracted to. So he gets out of bed and tries to do something productive and distracting for once — sort out his packing.

It was around the early afternoon when he sorted his baggage out, not a stray shirt left behind. He really didn't bring much to begin with. This evening, he was heading back to Toronto. He feels a pulse of sadness, but he just rids himself of it. In exchange, he feels the exhaustion creeping back into him. Aizawa was a man who tried to convince the world he could do without the company, he did, even convinced himself for awhile that that was what he really wanted. After a long time, it made him realise that what he wanted was the exact opposite and was waiting for someone to notice. He got back into the covers, slowly and surely drifting off now — the bed felt much colder now.

* * *

He came around to the Airport around two hours in advance, checking in his luggage before dropping by the shops. He thought to take the time to roam around, because he wasn't quite sure when he was coming back. He buys some last minute souvenirs and delicacies for his colleagues in Toronto and for himself too. Food was one of the things quite difficult to replicate abroad. The restaurants specialising in Japanese food, even claiming their authenticity, more or less failed to make him feel satisfied. There was one exception of a tiny little restaurant by a corner, cared for an old Japanese couple, which he discovered by accident after walking around for hours — it was the little things.

With more time to waste, he thought to order some tea before he left. He sat down and scrolled through his work e-mails, which have remained untouched this morning. With that sorted out, he begins to access his personal messages, which were mostly from Fujikawa and Saijo-sensei, who asks about what he learns as a fellow there — occasionally, Shinkai leaves him a message or two, especially when Kanade comes over for her checkups. It was only Fujikawa today, asking if he was going to drop by the hospital before his flight. He begins to type his apologies to him, telling him that he couldn't make it and that he was already at the Airport. Within a few seconds, he receives a  _Oh well, have a safe flight Aizawa! Come back as soon as you can._ from him, perhaps on a break he thought. His mind then slips around to Shiraishi again. Should he write her a message? Call her even? He did not know for sure what to do, he didn't really think he'd get this far with her if you asked him. He then thought about what he had said to Shiraishi, that he wouldn't disappear anymore. What exactly were they, even? The situation they've set up for themselves these past few hours made this even more ridiculous than before. But at the end of the day, above anything, Shiraishi was his friend. Hell, she might even be his best friend. He took out his phone and started to type her a message. Determined to get this right, Aizawa rewrites it over and over. In the end, he sent this as follows.

_I'm at the Airport now. I thought I'd let you know I'm leaving soon. Don't worry about whatever it is you're worried about, just don't. It's alright, I'm alright, I understand. Shiraishi, we're a team, friends, so call me whenever you need to. Don't hesitate, I'm here for you. We'll be alright._

The proper thing for Aizawa to do now is to support her decision, it didn't mean that he loved her any less. He didn't need to convince her to change her mind. Changing her mind meant making her feel the need to change for him and he didn't like that thought. He loved Shiraishi for who she was, wholeheartedly, passionately, effervescently. There were times throughout his life that were reminding him of his failures, how likely he was to fail again. But Shiraishi was there for him, convincing him to keep doing what he's doing, that he was on the right track. Whenever he got stuck, she'd help him get back into it again. She never forced him to do any of that. She simply patiently waited for him, until he figured things out on his own. What was important to her is that she'll be there for him no matter what and it will be okay. With that, Aizawa thought he'd do the same.

It was nearing the boarding time when Aizawa thought of entering security. As he was about a good few steps away, he stopped for a bit to take out his passport and boarding pass to show, someone called out his name.

"Kosaku!"

Kosaku? Though he's used to being called by his first name by his peers, it still felt unusual to hear it. He was still in Japan after all. He looks at the direction where it came from and there he saw Shiraishi, trying to catch her breath.

"Shiraishi?"

Aizawa didn't really know what to think at this point. She was here. At the airport. In her scrubs. Panting. Did she come from the hospital? Did she leave her duties behind? There were so many questions in his head but all that seemed to click was why. Why was she here? He felt both astonished but at the same time displeased.

"Are you a idiot?" Aizawa asks her, "Aren't you on duty tonight?"

She just stared at him, silent. Slowing down to a walk.

"Shiraishi, what's wrong?" Aizawa concerned. 

"Do you have everything you need?" Shiraishi says. You can tell she's still a little bit breathless.

"What?"

"Boarding pass? Passport? How about some Meclizine in case you get motion sick?"

"Shiraishi,"

"Right, you were once a Flight Doctor too. It's stupid for me to ask, forget it."

"Shiraishi, I'm going to be fine."

"Did you really mean it? That I could call you whenever I needed?" she blurts out suddenly. He nods his head in reply. She always had that privilege for a long time, he thought maybe she needed a re-validation of it, after where they left things this morning. 

_Flight Number CA 157 bound for Toronto is now on its last call, security check will be closing shortly._

"It's time for me to go," Aizawa gives her a sweet smile, "Shiraishi, Keep making Lifesaving grow, alright?"

He takes one good look at her before he walks away, taking it all in. No matter what happened, they'd always have last night. Convincing himself that they'll just be alright, even as friends.

"Kosaku!"

Turning back as to respond to her call, he finds her hands cupping his face — her eyes soft, yet felt like it was going right through him.

"I love you." Shiraishi says in haste, "It was always you. I'll go wherever you go."

"Huh? But I'm going to Toro—"

Shiraishi kisses him, swiftly. He felt how soft her lips were, but not enough for Aizawa to exactly react to it.

"Wherever you go, whatever you do. That's where I'll be. I don't care where we are. I just care that we're together." says Shiraishi, her eyes inviting him to approach.

An overwhelming wave of emotions crash unto Aizawa as it just registered in his mind what she just said. He couldn't say anything, not there isn't anything he really needed to say. He simply placed one hand lightly in the back of her neck whilst she responds with wrapping her arms around his waist, and then they kissed. Not at all like the impulsive, almost needy kisses—it was sweet, like those you see at the end of movies. The sweetest kiss they've ever had.

What transpired in the few hours for them, have been more than what they let themselves on to have. They walked with hands intertwined, showing no indication of letting go. When he needed to queue for security, he thought of just staying even for just one more day. But knowing her, she wouldn't allow it — summoning up all the more of his restraint to let it all go and do it. When he was let though, he took one last look at her. Her hands crossed to her chest, a light smile on her face, still looking at him. He lifted a hand up to her to let her know that it was time. She lifted hers in return with a slight wave, smiling brighter than she did. With that smile stamped indelibly into his memory, he left— and yet she stayed.

Aizawa allowed himself to replay the events that have occurred on this short trip on the flight back to Toronto — and for the rest of his stay there. The thoughts, the impression, the sensation of it all. In good days and in bad, it would always be at the back of his mind — he was alone there, but with this, he was never lonely. While she's in no obligation to, nor does he want her to feel obligated — with love and a little bit of hope, Shiraishi would be there, waiting for him to come home.

**Author's Note:**

> What happened 7 years ago?
> 
> Actually, that was the fic before this one ever came alive, I just brought this one out first. Because I wanted to make sense as to why the first episode of the third season was like that. It could still come out if I have the time to actually edit it. If it doesn't come within this year, you can clock me on that.
> 
> Why post fanfiction about Aizawa and Shiraishi? 
> 
> Aizawa and Shiraishi's relationship, though I would say frustratingly enigmatic, made me feel something. I guess a lot of people would agree to that. Yet, I don't have any friends that I could talk about them, so I made this instead. I wrote this story to save what was left of my abilities to express, to write, to feel. It may not be my best work -- I mean, it stayed untouched for the past year or so -- but this story is something I needed to finish. This story was an ultimatum to myself, demanding that I finish this. Because if I don't, I won't be able to move forward and be who I want to be.
> 
> If you read the entirety of this note and figured out how much of a mess I am, thank you for your time.


End file.
